CHAOS THEORY – NOW IN PRACTICE!

by GLEN PICKARD

Dr. Ian Malcolm didn’t need this today. Didn’t need this anytime. He also didn’t need his formidable knowledge on the nature of chaos to reason that this island had been one damn screw up on loop. He’d seen it coming, and tried to explain to that idiotic white bearded bureaucrat, but no one listens to the mathematician. Having barely escaped a T-rex savaging earlier that afternoon, that madman Grant had now taken the kids to go meet more prehistoric dangers at the top of the gargantuan tree he was currently leaning against. Although bandaged and bruised, the kicker for Malcolm was the sheer frustration. He had known. He had told them.

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WHAT’S 25 FEET TALL AND COMES IN PINTS?

by MICHAEL COLLINS

The heavy tropical rain battered down upon the newly laid road surface harder than a nurse’s fists on Stephen Hawking’s face. Although the sun had not yet fully set, the dark clouds cast an oppresive blackness over the terrain as the two gaudily painted electric land-rovers slowly passed the Tyrannosaur paddock and ground suddenly to a halt.

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HARD CORE FLOCKING

by MICHAEL COLLINS

Doctor Alan Grant was tired. Very tired. He did, however, have good reason to feel as if all his muscles were on the verge of atrophy – he had had absolutely no sleep since his arrival at Isla Nublar, home of InGen’s enterprising attempt to clone dinosaurs from long-lost DNA found in the veins of amber-encased mosquitoes, and he’d been on the run for hours. Something had gone very wrong, the power had been lost, and he had spent all the hours of the night fleeing from the scene of a tyrannosaur attack with no one but a couple of damn kids to keep him company.

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SHORT STORY

by ALEX COX

“This is a UNIX system! I KNOW THIS.” proclaimed Lex Murphy, staring at the 3D operating system flying before her on screen.

“No it bloody isn’t,” screamed Jeff Goldblum, slapping her in her smug little face. “It’s clearly IRIX! Which, while a UNIX derivative, isn’t actually UNIX.” Lex Murphy whimpered a little so Goldblum punched her out of the chair with a sneer. He put the boots into the now unconscious child and removed a few of her worthless little teeth. “Fucking children,” he sighed.

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A BIG FINISH

by GLEN PICKARD

Dr Alan Grant, Ellie Sattler, and the children Tim and Lex scurried desperately across the ceiling crawlspace of Jurassic Park’s newly completed welcome building, as three murderous Raptors snapped at their heels mere feet below. Ellie, Lex and Tim, were shuffling along slowly but surely, making their way towards the exit, terrified at the toothy death stalking them from below. Grant was also scared, petrified even, that he wouldn’t be able to relieve the sexual tension that had been building inside him ever since he’d seen his first dinosaur. It had been a revolutionary sexual awakening for him, and he had been secretly thankful when the park’s fences went down and all hell had broken loose. Dying in a bloody frenzy of beast love would be, nay, was, the ultimate erotic aim for him, and as his group had continued to defy the odds and survive, a part of him had become more and more disappointed. The permanent erection had made him ache, and he had to do something.

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TRANNYSAURUS REX

by HUNTLEY WOODS

Muldoon couldn’t believe his luck, there he was in the jungle staring down the barrel of his gun ready to fire one off in the raptor’s eye when a second emerged from the bushes on the left. She opened her jaw and dashed toward his face, but she wasn’t about to eat his skull. Oh no, her mouth was wide open for another reason…for a french kiss. Muldoon was caught in the middle of a wild raptor threesome. With the new girl’s tongue tickling down his throat and his rifle fully locked and loaded, he fired off a huge shot, some of it landing on the other raptor and most of it landing on that creepy snake on the branch slithering by her eye.

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UNREQUITED PROMISE

by GLEN PICKARD

The Brontosaurus arched it’s huge head back, clamping a thick nest of greenery between it’s flat jaws and munched it’s slow, sexy, jurassic munch. 80 odd feet below, Dr Alan Grant was astonded at what he was seeing. The fact that it was a real, live dinosaur was a heck of a start, but Alan was well past simple awe. That stage had ended after Malcolm had asked Hammond how he had achieved these beings, and as the group drove off, Grant had jabbered vague assurances to Ellie that he would catch up with them. But things were different now. Now he was in love.

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VELOCI-RAPTURE

by MEGHAN McTAVISH

Dr Ellie sat on one of the dark grey leather sofas that were arranged neatly around a smoked glass table in the vast reception area. She should go, she knew. It was pointless just continuing to sit here, with her stomach tying itself in knots and her feet slowly starting to ache in their unaccustomed high heeled shoes.
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HAMMOND-FISTED

by MATT SKINNER

The tropical storms on Isla Nublar always kept John Hammond awake. Tonight was no different. It was his first night back after a visit to InGen’s headquarters and the park was finally finished. He lay in his penthouse suite that overlooked the park, staring at the small balls of amber on the corners of his antique, 1840’s French colonial four poster bed. Outside, the wind and rain battered against the small, intimate balcony and it’s adjoining Azure double-glazed sliding doors. The sound was thunderous. Almost as thunderous as the actual thunder, which was really, really thunderous, probably about half as thunderous again as the wind and rain – which is no mean feat as the wind and rain battering against the Azure double-glazed sliding doors was loud. Real loud.

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RAPTOR RAPE REVERSAL

by GLEN PICKARD

Tim and Lex desperately scampered through the polished steel maze of Jurassic Park’s main kitchen, hurrying towards the far door as two Raptors bust through the entrance behind them, sending broken sections of the door lock scattering over the cold floor surface. Hearing this, the children opened the sliding door to the nearest unit, pushed aside the unused pots and pans and climbed in, nervously sliding the door closed behind them. Outside this temporary sanitary, the monsters staggered closer, heads weaving left and right, smelling, looking, hunting the child flesh they sensed was close!

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